so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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