my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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