your parents love me but you hate me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
