yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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