Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
