I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
