god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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