Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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