Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
