do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
