come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
