She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
