can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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