Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
