I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
