Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
