do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
