its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
