her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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