The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
