Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
