dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize