Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
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Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.