Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing