I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you never un-have a 4some
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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