Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.