so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As shirtless as possible
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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