Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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