Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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