Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
