He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
only if we run a train.
done.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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