Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
