morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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