He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize