i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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