I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
