My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
