Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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