I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
