Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
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I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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