it wasn't lemon gatorade
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
