She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
