btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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