If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
