how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
