This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
