How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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