mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it's like iHOP with fire
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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