Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
