that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
