Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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