So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
