the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry about my life...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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