ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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