Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
