these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
