Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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