i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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